sometimes,i feel like want to hug my mother as we used to masa kecik2....
i want to tell her that i really love her and thnx for being such a great mother to not-so-good daughter...thanx for being like a father too when we have no abah....thnx for making me such an independent girl people ever seen...i can even walk alone on night walaupun there were so many cases happened before because i know ALLAH will always protect me because of my niat adlh nk pergi menuntut ilmu....malam2 tu i jalan nk gi lthn debat tau..jgn pk lain plak...
as i grow up.....it's hard for me to deny the feeling of having a life like others...
1) i want a boyfriend..i know salah...but atleast,a special friend boy friend that will always listen to my sorrw,happiness,royanan and so on....and i hope that special someone atleast ade lah niat nk kawin ngan i kalau ade jodoh....kalau x..sia2 je dia ngorat i bagai2 sbb i dah completely fall for him...dengar ye,it's hard for me to fall for somebody.....
2) i want a circle of friends mcm dulu....they are still there but lack of communications make we like separating from each other..kalau kat uni ni pulak...i x tau nak cakap ape....mungkin i am the one yg make the distance...but he seems to hate me even more..patutlah sebelum ni kalau time kawan2 pun mcm x suka..layan nak x nak je....haih..whatever lah...i know,before exam i kena mintak maaf...
sometimes i was thinking,
why i had this kind of life....
why i never get to feel the happiness of having a complete family
why i never been born in a rich family...
why i hardly having a luck...
why why and always why......
but,i do think about it back...Allah had planned this before i open my eyes to see this world....HE will not going to test me like this if i cant face it...throughout all this,i still feel the sweetness...
a strong mum....
alhamdulillah,my sister and i always did well in our exams
a house to live in
a car to ride
money that can be use to buy what necessary
a cute cat
a big family bond..(i never felt how is it feel to have grandparents)
never been starving
enough clothes to wear
enough telekung to perform solah
enough of everything actually
ALLAH,please help me to strengthen my heart....i dont want to be ungrateful,i want to be a good daughter,i want to be a successful student,i want to be a great sister...i want to have a happy family,successful karier,i want to be a good wife to the person i love, a good mother to my children soon...
forgive my for not realize i always questioning why this and that....but u the 'why' is less than that what YOU have give to me without i ask about it....
i cant tell what are the actual problems but i feel sad...when i sad,i want family,him,and my friends to support me and tell me 'everything gonna be ok'...but i always forgot,ALLAH never been away from me....always listen to my everything...alhamdulillah...
maybe this is my turn to be at the bottom of the circle....sooner or later,i believe,the rainbow will appear to show me that everything i had been through are actually something sweet...
